How to Remove Onion/Garlic Smell from Hands

So among other interesting features, like not having a single level surface anywhere, my apartment has no microwave.  Being both poor and cheap, I decided to see if I can get by without buying one, and thus far, it's actually been pretty easy.  One unexpected benefit is that I've been making the time to cook a lot more often, knowing that I won't be able to toss a Hot Pocket in the microwave when I get hungry.  Plus I actually really enjoy cooking.

What I don't enjoy is how, after chopping onions, garlic or other strongly scented ingredients, the smell can stay on your hands for a ridiculously long time.  It reminds me of when I worked at Quiznos and smelled sandwiches all the time.  Thankfully, there are ways to solve this problem, and I'm going to share the best two with you today.

How to Get Rid of Fruit Flies

My apartment here is fantastic, but unfortunately, I have developed a small problem-- fruit flies.  While not particularly dangerous, especially with winter approaching, they are annoying and kind of gross, so I decided to get rid of them.  Thankfully, this is something I've handled before, so today you get advice on what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation.  You will need:

Remembering how to drive

Dear New York drivers,

While returning from Brooklyn today, I realized that many of you seem to have forgotten necessary driving lessons that would make all our lives a lot easier.  To remedy this, here is my list of things you should dredge up out of your memory banks and dust off.

First, road signs are there for a reason.  I know that multi-tasking might be tough, but I promise you can take your eyes off the road long enough to read them.  If you're having difficulties with this, hanging up the cell phone might help.  You see, road signs are incredibly good at letting you know where it is you're supposed to go and what lane you need to be in, which leads us to tip number two.

Anticipate a change.  Those crazy engineers that design roadways are actually really smart, and they have made sure that almost every change in a major highway is announced at least one mile in advance.  When you see these announcements, the key thing to do is follow where they tell you to go.  For example, if a sign says the exit you need will be on the right in one mile, continuing to speed down the left lane past cars that are stopped in the right lane is maybe not the best idea.  The reason for this is because you will rapidly reach your exit and have to slam on your brakes, stopping traffic in your lane, to try to move into the lane that you should have joined a mile ago.  I know it seems like speeding past those twenty cars and then edging in will put you in first, but in reality, behavior like this really just slows everyone down.  Anticipating a change is also very helpful when two lanes are merging, as the signs that mark those off usually tell you which lane is closing.  Therefore, you can make your way into the correct one before your lane stops and again avoid slamming on your brakes and generally being a frustration and danger to those around you.